Cure Peace is a lie, there is only Cure Passion
by MadCow77
Summary: In which the Code of the Sith is horribly misinterpreted. Crackfic. One shot.


**Author's Note**: So this came up during a random chat, one thing led to another, and the rest is... as they say... fanfiction.

Characters may be OOC for the lulz.

As usual, I do not own Pretty Cure or Star Wars and all that stuff.

* * *

Momozono Love was at her limit. The young, twin yellow-pigtail haired girl screamed at the top of her lungs, "for the last time, I am _not_ Cure Peace! I am Cure Peach!"

If looks could kill, the two strange black-garbed individuals standing before her would have already keeled over, clutching at their throats while gasping for breath as Love suffocated them with her Force Choke technique. Alas, she wasn't so blessed with such abilities or luck.

"We know you're lying," the first one accused. He stood in a somewhat regal stature, his white hair and beard exuding seniority and wisdom. He looked the role of some wise old dude straight out of a J.R.R. Tolkein movie. For now, we shall refer to him as Gramps. "_The Code_ says that Peace lies!"

"At last we will reveal ourselves to the Precures. At last we will have our reward!" The second one was a very mysterious person indeed, his body completely dyed in red and tattooed with strange black patterns. A crown of horns seemed to jut right out and around his bald head. We shall refer to this one as Reddie.

"Aaarh, I don't get any of this at all!" Love continued to wail, cupping her face in both hands out of frustration. "Passion, a little help here ple-"

"Hold it right there!" Gramps interrupted, his outstretched finger pointing accusingly at the purple-haired girl next to Love. "Did she just call you Passion?"

"Who, me?" Higashi Setsuna blinked. "Yes, I am Cure Passion. Am I supposed to know you?"

With the unerring speed of a perverted old man, Gramps rushed up to Setsuna and grabbed both her hands, holding them up as if he was about to confess his undying love for her. Now standing uncomfortably close to her, Gramps gazed deeply into her surprised, purple eyes and said, "Passion, we've finally found you! Please lead us to the foretold Strength!"

"Eh? Eeehhhh?"

If you're having trouble imagining how Love and Setsuna look right now, just try picturing Cure Marine in one of her many _Eehhh_ expressions. Yep, that's it.

* * *

_Later, at a local diner..._

"So, what is it you want with me?" Setsuna asked, trying to look serious and ignore the rest of the odd stares from the diner's clientele. Love, on the other hand, was burying her face in the menu, hoping that no one would register that she was even there.

"It is as _The Code_ had predicted! Passion will lead us to Strength!" Gramps exclaimed.

Setsuna deadpanned. "_The Code_?"

"Yes. _The Code_." Gramps deadpanned right back.

"And what is this... _Code_?"

"Sorry. We can't tell you."

"Okay." More deadpans.

"Ahem." An impatient waitress finally interrupted their contest to see who can out-deadpan the other. "Are you all ready to place your order yet?"

Gramps finally took his eyes off Setsuna, panning his gaze down to the menu. Setsuna could finally relax a little and decide what to eat; she was completely tensed up for the entire duration of this meeting.

"Aha!" Gramps suddenly exclaimed, startling both Love and Setsuna, and the rest of the diner's patrons too. "So this is where Strength lies!"

Love and Setsuna looked down at the menu to see what Gramps was being all excited about. It was an entry in the drinks section. An energy drink, of all things.

"So, one Monster Extra Strength for gramps here?"

"No, not one. All of them!"

"Eeeehhhh?"

I don't have to repeat the expression on Love's and Setsuna's faces again, do I?

* * *

_Several dozen drinks later..._

"Yes! Yes! I can feel it now! I've got the Power!"

Do you know how religious worshippers are often pictured raising their arms into the air, as if to receive some sort of power or gift from their deity? Now imagine that, and you've got the perfect picture of what Gramps and Reddie are doing right now.

"At last we have obtained Power from Strength! At last we will have our revenge!"

"You guys are just high from all that sugar rush," Setsuna said, but clearly in vain.

Love continued to bury herself in the bowl of rice that she had just ordered. Hopefully the diner's patrons will just focus their attention on the two weirdos and ignore her and Setsuna.

"_The Code_ has been correct all this while! With our newfound Power, we shall obtain Victory! Victory against the Jedi scum!"

"At last Victory will be in our grasp! At last we will have our revenge!"

Love and Setsuna continued to pretend to be together and alone at the table. And by that, I mean "we're not with those two weirdos. Nope, we don't know them at all. Really."

* * *

A little bit later, Love and Setsuna heard more people entering the diner. They were still keeping their heads down, not wanting to be identified with Gramps and Reddie who were still gulping down cans of Extra Strength while chanting "Victory! Victory!" like a pair of drunken hobos.

"Excuse us ma'am, but who are the troublemakers that you reported?"

Love and Setsuna glanced up to see two police officers talking to the waitress.

"Those two," the waitress replied while pointing to the most obvious of suspects. There was, shall we say, a "_minor_" bit of scuffle involved, followed by Gramps and Reddie being led out of the diner in cuffs. Despite that, Love and Setsuna could still hear the pair yakking outside from their secluded table.

"Who do you think you are, locking the great Count Dooku in chains? Darth Maul, unleash your power!"

"At last we will reveal our Power to these insolent humans. At last we will have our revenge!"

There was a crack, as if chains were being broken.

"Maul, do you know what this means? We've broken the chains! You've used the Force to set us free! Now we are nigh unstoppable! Onward to Coruscant, where we shall now enact our revenge on the Jedi!"

"At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi! At last we will have our revenge!"

Love and Setsuna stared at each other blankly for a moment. Then Setsuna decided to break the silence. "I won't mention any of this to the others if you don't."

And so they both came to an agreement.

**END**.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Alright, you can shoot me now. Or throw rotten tomatoes.


End file.
